6...5...4...3...2...1!

Happy New Year!!

I wish everyone a very Happy and Healthy New Year.

* Be safe celebrating and bringing in 2006.

My five things...

I was tagged just before the holidays by Froggy to divulge 5 random things about me. OK. Are you ready? Here goes....


1. My big day, wasn't so big. There was no big wedding. Honey and I eloped to the mountains, just the two of us and telling no one. It was beautiful. I had a gown and honey had tails. We said our "I do's" then it was into jeans and sweatshirts. We went and had a fabulous dinner, window shopped, bar hopped and shot pool for five days. BLISS!

2. I love the smell of Play-Doh. Strange I know.

3. Sadly, I'm not a member of the "Mile High" club. Not for lack of effort, Honey is just a chicken freakin' little. I am however, a member of the "Screaming down the Interstate at 75mph" club, a member of the "Boating" club and a "Woodsman" member, lol!

4. My favorite bubble gum of all time is Bazooka.

5. My first buzz was at age 11. I was at a friends Bar Mitzvah with my brother and an open bar. I'm not sure how I even got them, but began a lovely relationship with Apricot Sours. They were such a pretty color, in a fancy glass with a cherry. Do you see the draw?

Well, there you have my tid bits. I hope you've enjoyed them. I won't tag anyone but if you feel so inclined to do a random list of five, please let me know. I'd love to know five more things about you.

"That's what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing."

-Simone de Beauvoir

HNT #8

Happy HNT, people.

Ugh, I'm such a coolie Mom!

My "Two Moon Junction"

*Which by the way, is a GREAT "get it started" movie

"Be adventurous, do something nekkid once in awhile."

- Slogan

My favorite HNT this year is, my undying love of my Levi's!

A thong experience

The day after Christmas we go shopping. I do this why? Because my husband has the female shopping gene and insisted that I accompany him. So like the dutiful wife, I go. OMGosh, and it's WalMart of ALL places. That place is hell on earth under fluorescent lights. UGH!

We find a place to park, in the next county and hoof it in. (I must love this guy OR I'm an idiot!) He heads to the sporting section with the kids in tow and I'm left to browse around. I found a few things of interest, yay for me. He calls for my 10/20, I give him some landmarks to follow and ta-dah, there they are. I'm ready to GO. He however, wants to go look at the wallets. Man. OK. I'll meet you right back here I tell him. Fine. He had Mina in the cart and Michael ended up with me. We were in the women's department, so I thought I'd look at the bras. I actually bought a couple. Michael is standing behind me and says, "Mommy, look you have THESE!" as he holds up a lovely pair of thong panties. Just then, a woman clearly a bit my senior walks near by to hear his declaration. Not only that, he goes on to ask, "Hey Mom, what is the string for?" Please!! The woman passes with a huge smile and begins talking to her friend, in MY direction. Mean while, I'm still on my explanation of the string. "It's the back of the panties" I tell him. Well, THAT is all I had to say. "WHAAAAAT?" is the very next word out of his mouth and it couldn't have been any louder.

I quietly tell him to put them down, that he won't have any interest in them until he's much older. He goes on to ask if Daddy likes them. My word. In order to stop the madness, I told him it was none of his business. (btw, Daddy loves them) And this I know is just the beginning.


"A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally."

-Lillian Day

The Miracle

The stress and chaos? Well worth it. Christmas morning and they are all still sleeping, woo-hoo! This a result of an insanely late night Christmas Eve. Also, well worth it. I get up early and shut everyone's door to let them sleep, while I tippy toed into the kitchen to make some goodies for breakfast.

9:10a and I hear a door quietly open. Then came the footsteps, first slowly, then almost running. I knew who it was, just by the sound on the floor. Then I hear with all the excitement of an almost seven year old boy, "Mommy, MOMMY its a MIRACLE!!" I came around the corner of the kitchen and asked him, "What is?" Michael turns and looks at me with a face that was literally glowing and said, " Santa. He came. He FINALLY got here with our presents, LOOK!" I swear, I almost cried. He was so thrilled. For me, there wasn't another gift needed.

He immediately slammed his sisters door open to share his new found miracle.

True enough, the real miracle of Christmas is the birth Jesus and will always be. But, in the eyes of a little boy, presents from Santa can certainly qualify.















































"The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common. "

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Merry Christmas to all....

...and to all a goodnight!

Enjoy the blessings of the season.

"Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again."

~Grace Noll Crowell

All I want for Christmas....

Guess!

Yes, that's right, is my two front teeth!

Michael had knocked his front left tooth out. Without going into the whole ordeal, let me just say that it was ridiculously traumatic, to say the very least. Having a six week old baby (Mina) and him not quite two yet, it all was almost unbearable.

Last night, Daddy had the privilege of yanking the other one out. Let me tell you, it was WAY less traumatizing for everyone. He is very excited about not having his front teeth (it makes him a big boy) and has found lots of fun things to do with that ginormous hole.

* the tooth fairy is a very kind lady.

"Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile."

~Author Unknown

HNT VII

Fish Eye

In front of the lens, from behind.

Happy HNT!!

"What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?" -

-Michaelangelo

The ultimate guide to beauty...

....in my house, is the eenie, meenie, minie, mo method. Mina was the oh so lucky recipient of a little make-up kit in her gift trade at school. Good Lord, the girl has more than I do. All I need is a tube of mascara and some Blistex Silk and Shine or Carmex and I'm good. This five year old glamour puss has an array of some of the finest. (Thank you Miss Salena)

Once home, Mina couldn't wait to tear into the package and fully examine her lovelies. There was lip shine with sparkles, (yay!) several canisters of glitter, (which is from h*ll) and nail polish. (please, tell me WHY?) With it all sorted and arranged on the kitchen table, and with the sweetest voice she could muster she asks, "Mommy, can I put on some nail polish?" Most of the time it's no because we're usually headed out somewhere. But, with nowhere to go, I obliged her. She was SO excited and couldn't wait to get started, but which one to use, that was the question. I got busy in the kitchen doing something when I hear her talking to herself. "OK. Now, lets see. eenie, meenie, minie, mo catch a tiger by his toe, if he hollers let him go, eenie, meenie, minie, mo. My Mother said to pick the very best one and you are IT!" This went on, I think until she got the one she wanted. Purple it is.

Salon La Mina

The remover and cotton balls made their appearance not long after and we tried the pink too.

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart."

-Helen Keller

Ready for take off.

Hi, welcome aboard.

My name is Michael and I'll be your captain this afternoon. I am accompanied up here by captain Fly Right. He will be my co-pilot today. We have been cleared for take off. Flight attendants, please check and cross check.

This is your captain again. We will be climbing to our cruising altitude of 31,000 feet. At which time, I will turn off the fasten seat belt sign and you are free to move about the cabin.

The weather is clear and we expect smooth sailing. Our flight time is 4 hours 26 minutes.

Good afternoon, this is your captain. We have begun our descent into the greater New York area. The weather is a cool, 37 degrees and partly cloudy. We hope you enjoyed your flight and thank you for flying with us.

Before the captain shuts the mike off .........."Um, what was I supposed to do with these buttons again?"


"Mr. that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane."

- Casey Stengel

Sunday Funnies

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open, then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind, Two, you didn't read your homework, and three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

Cookie Dust

It's party time. Time for lots of goodies and some not so goodies for the kiddies at school. Thank the Almighty, I'm not responsible for anymore in Mina's class, whew! I was however, in charge of the liquid sugar beverage and sugar patties (cookies) for the gala this morning in her class.

Just because I'm SO on top of things, I head off to the supermarket this morning, after leaving the kids at school. But really, how early can you do the cookie thing? Anyway, I whip in and head to the bakery. Because I've shopped there for the last 10 years, I pretty much know at least one person per department. I see Miss Brenda and explain my need. She so kindly points me in the right direction. There weren't any trays made up, so I selected several different varieties and thought I'd make my own. Miss Brenda slips me a tray with a top and I made my cookie tray right there on top of the pies. Oh, how purdy, but the center was still empty and I needed something small with a bit of color. Good, over there was one lone package of cookies, perfect for what I needed. The only thing was, at least 1/3 of them were actually cookie dust. I thought, "well, I don't need all of them, I'll just use the ones that are still in one piece." I open the package, fill my center spot, thank Miss Brenda for her help and head to the my favorite cashier, Kenny.

Now. I'm thinking on the way to the register, "I wonder if they'll give me a break on the cookies?" OK. I've OPENED them, so it's ridiculously obvious that I am going to be buying these things. But I ask anyway, just to see what they say. Kenny says, "heck I'd give them to you." But, he had to ask the chief baker, who I've decided is a J.E.R.K. He shows up at the register, looking all macho in his hair net and plastic gloves and asks, "what the problem?" I very kindly told him there was no problem, I just want to know what was up with the cookies. I told him I wanted a deal on the cookie dust. He looks at the package and asked me what was wrong with them. OK, NOW. I'm GETTING a deal on the cookies, moron. You mean to tell me you have to ask what is wrong with them? Do you want me to dump the remaining cookies right here for you to get a better look at what"s wrong with them? He looks annoyed but I don't care now, he's an idiot and I'm going to bust his chops. He tells me, "just get another package." Are you retarded? Do you NOT think, if there was another package I wouldn't have gotten it? That I wouldn't have left the bird feed there for some other ill prepared parent? Well, he looks at me, all the while my friend Kenny is rolling his eyes. I'm looking dead in his eyes with my brows raised and a look of "I'm waiting" on my face. Finally he tells me, "I'll take off two dollars off, that is the best I can do." I started laughing at him as I told him that I was completely prepared to pay full price for them, I've already disassembled the package. Do you NOT see that. I just can believe you would give me such a hard time about it. Needless to say, he was totally frustrated when he left while Kenny and I had a good laugh. I mean really, tis the season, right?

It was a bit on the not so nice side, which is really not at all like me. I was feeling a little smart mouthed this morning and the moronic baker got it.


"The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does."

- Bill Vaughan

HNT VI

My 550's

Sure do love my Levis!

Happy HNT!!

"How much has to be explored and discarded before reaching the nekkid flesh of feeling."

- Claude Debussy

A Gift

Typically, I'm not one that takes things for granted. I make a conscious effort to enjoy everyday, regardless of the stresses and make time for people. All people. But, like everyone else, I have my moments when I assume all is well and will continue to be just that.

Today, I had a not so gentle eye opener. After leaving the kids at school, I along with a girlfriend went to visit a mutual friend. We all, along with our families attend church together and have become quiet close, really enjoying each others company. The woman we visited, I'll call her Bonni, is not in good health. Nearly three years ago she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I don't know the exact diagnosis. I just know it's cancer, it's aggressive and it's winning. I last saw her out, at our Thanksgiving dinner at church, were I served her a meal. I feel extremely strange now, thinking that it was her last Thanksgiving dinner. What a heavy heart.

She was last seen by a doctor a week ago. A CT scan was performed, only to deliver more bad news. Not only was it ever present through out her mid, it was now in her brain. The result, 8-12 weeks left.

Our visit was lovely. It was wonderful to see her. We talked and laughed, told stories and wondered, why? It's a difficult thing to understand, one that my mind just can't being to wrestle with. Bonni has faced it all with great courage and grace. She has the character of a woman with great faith and is a shining example of what I know, I myself should be. I feel extremely privileged to have become her friend and a person I have no problem saying "I love you" to. I pray for her comfort and strength for her family as I know tougher days are ahead.

I was reminded today that life is a gift. Every morning is a present, one that is opened as the day goes on.


"No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow."

~Euripides

Christmas lights....

.....Suuuuuuck! Oh. My. Word. When, how, better yet, WHO? I want to know what rotten SOB sneaks into my garage during the year and completely devastates my Christmas light? I mean, I take such care each year taking then down and carefully wrapping, even labeling them. To what? To find something that looks like a medusa from the fiery lake. Ugh! I swear, I'm going to find him, and when I do......

Currently these gems are on the curb, ready for pick up!

Honey, usually has the esteemed job of stringing the lights on our tree each year. However, because I'm the best wife ever, I decided that I would spare him this year. He will however, pay handsomely for my kindness.

Once I decipher which ones work and which ones don't, the agony begins. OMGosh, not only is it a hair pulling task, add to it the kids asking every three minutes, "are we really to hang the decorations?" Now, nearing the very end of my wit's, I told them, "if you ask me that one more time, I'm going to throw the tree out in the back yard and set it on fire." Well, because my kids have known me long enough, they laughed. AND, asked me again, three minutes later.

Lights are on. Kids, have it! I let them do the entire tree and they had a blast. Although the lights do look like they were strung by Chuck Brown and company and the tree was obviously designed by the creative minds of a 5 and 6 year old, I must say, not bad.

Honey arrives home just on completion, with hugs and kisses all around. He stands back and gazes upon our creation, to tell us what a fabulous job we have done. Ahh, he's such a good man. Well, that may be pushing it, but he is a smart man.

"Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most."

-Ruth Carter Stapleton

O' Christmas Tree

Here is our tree, in all of it's grandeur and likeness of "Peanuts"

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."

~Burton Hillis

You do the math

This

Plus this (green of course, which we no longer have)

Equals this....

Why, you ask? Because she was home ALONE, with Daddy for 90 minutes. I was at a scout meeting with Michael, just on my way home. I place my "do you need anything? I'm on my way home" call and he tells me, "No. I've gotta go, I have a situation here." I laugh and hang-up. I wonder all the way home, what could he possibly have going on? I knew it was nothing earth shattering, he would have been calling ME.

I arrive home, to find my daughter an "Oh my GOSH, I'm so sea sick shade of green" and Honey on his hands and knees with carpet cleaner. LOL! Apparently, the paint tube had dried and Mina, looking directly into the tube, squeezed! Haaaa, bet she won't do that again. Needless to say, out carpet has a lovely green tint. So now, THAT is our new favorite color!!

"An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight. . . The truly wise person is colorblind."

- Albert Schweitzer

Sunday Funnies

Boy, do I wish there was blogging when I was single!

Moon

Bask in the warmth of one of my favoite photographs...

"Moon Glow"

"One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."

- Carl G. Jung

Cheese?

It's after 11p and as usual the house is sleeping. Thank God. I'm sitting at my computer, reading and just plain jerking around, while the TV is playing in the background. It's the news and quite naturally, a repeat of the earlier broadcast. I never have the opportunity to watch the prime-time news reports so, it's new to me. I am listening but not paying very close attention, until this.

The reporter told me to sit tight, that he would be right back with a story of a robbery. I'm thinking, "well, it's that time of year where people go off the deep end about getting gifts." I wasn't to surprised. Then I hear that the robbery was a block of cheese. Now, I feel bad. Here was this woman stealing to feed her family.

Not so. They flash the mug of a woman who is responsible for the great cheese heist. However, she was not aware that it was cheese she was lifting. She thought she was getting away with a block of COKE. Yes, that's right. She thought she was stealing a block of cocaine, lol. Now, I'm by no means a member of any drug cartel, but I do believe that even I would be able to tell the difference between a block of white cheddar and a block of blow. Please.

So, not only is she an identified thief, she is now labeled a known drug user. And, just to add insult to injury, mistaking a block of cheese for cocaine, makes her a MORON!


"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."

~P.J. O'Rourke

HNT V

Froggy

Jacque & Jacquette Cousteau

Here we have my future explorers of the deep.

"Two or three things I know for sure, and one is that I'd rather go nekkid than wear the coat the world has made for me."

- Dorothy Allison

My eyes, my eyes!

This morning started out like any other. Alarm sounding at the freakin' crack of dawn, stagger out of bed and into the shower, ahhhh! Then it's brush, fluff and dress. Although, I admit, not much fluffing going on here. I'm the original "wash -n- go girl." Now, it's down the hall and time to harass the kids. Throw on the lights and twist open the blinds. Oh, the pleasure of torture. Usually, it takes more than one trip to get the necessary response, out of bed. So, I tip to the kitchen for my much needed eye opener, the BEAN! Yes, the java in this joint is a must. If I miss, it's like walking outside the house naked. However, much to Honey's despair, it wouldn't be the first time. Poor thing, the trauma he must endure.

Before I realize it, Mina is up and half dressed. Michael? Another story. I hear movement but he is yet to rise, much less shine. Then I hear, "MOMMY, my eyes, my eyes!" I'm bellowing from the kitchen, "What, what, WHAT is wrong with your eyes?" He barks back, "My eyes, they're blind." I crack up, as I stand there in front of my coffee maker with mug in hand. (come on baby, come to Momma.) I head down the hall and tell him, "Your eyes aren't blind, just rub them a little and they'll be better." He tells me, "I did rub them and they're STILL blind." Well, my coffee is NOW ready and I just don't have time for all this. I tell him when he hits a wall because his eyes are blind, I'll come see him, but until then get dressed and get into the kitchen.

Needless to say, there were no collisions with the wall and he even made it through breakfast. A miracle I tell ya, a miracle.

Ugh, ya just gotta love the mornings.



"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

-Mahatma Gandhi

*See Marel, I need counseling!

She's Five

Happy Birthday to you......

Mina

December 4, 2000 - 11:28 AM

I do at times, find myself saddened by the fact she is no longer a baby. However, it stands deep in the shadow of my excitement in watching her become a little lady.

"Virtue and Happiness are Mother and Daughter."

- Benjamin Franklin

Sunday Funnies

Here we thought these letteres were only meant for a medical term. Yeah RIGHT!

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8 Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pouty Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

....and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

And as an example

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW tochange a light bulb! They don't even know that thebulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the darkfor THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And,once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able tofind the light bulbs despite the fact they've been inthe SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! Butif they did, by some miracle of God, actually findthe bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged tostand on to change the STUPID light bulb wouldSTILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH ITWOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAMEIN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THEGARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALLSUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOTDEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DARN HOUSE!

I'm sorry. What was your question?

Least we forget... Putting up with Mens Shit....

Black and Whites

The quiet days of summer before color.

"If you're photographing in color you show the color of their clothes - if you use black and white, you will show the color of their soul."

~Author Unknown

I'm not that grown up.

This list of "Signs That You Have Grown Up" was sent to me by a friend the other day. After reading it I've come to the conclusion, I'm NOT so grown up. :)


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Fair enough

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Not so much. I'm an anywhere kinda girl.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. I'd have to agree.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Oh gosh, YES.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. Lord, not yet.

6. You watch the Weather Channel. Well now, that is just stupid.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup." Sure. It is 2005

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Everyday is a vacation for me.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." It SURE is.

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. I wouldn't call the police, I'd tell them myself.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. I'm usually the one telling them.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. I do TO.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. True, so true.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. I give my dog everything.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. Yeah, I love my bed.

16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM. I NEVER nap.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. I'll agree.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. What? Wings, anytime.

19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. Heck no. Go Trojans. I don't want to be buying any more tests. Haaaaaa!

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." Yeah, I'm a cheap date.

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. Not much on breakfast anytime.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." Not a huge drinker.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. Noway, I'm a stay at home Mom. All my computer time is for FUN!

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. I don't go to bars.


Now that you've read it. How grown up are you?

"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am."

-Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965),

HNT IV

All Wrapped Up!

My two little peas, wrapped up in their green and white terry cloth pod.

"We was always nekkid, day and night, whenever the mosquitoes would let us."

-Huck Finn