Cheese?

It's after 11p and as usual the house is sleeping. Thank God. I'm sitting at my computer, reading and just plain jerking around, while the TV is playing in the background. It's the news and quite naturally, a repeat of the earlier broadcast. I never have the opportunity to watch the prime-time news reports so, it's new to me. I am listening but not paying very close attention, until this.

The reporter told me to sit tight, that he would be right back with a story of a robbery. I'm thinking, "well, it's that time of year where people go off the deep end about getting gifts." I wasn't to surprised. Then I hear that the robbery was a block of cheese. Now, I feel bad. Here was this woman stealing to feed her family.

Not so. They flash the mug of a woman who is responsible for the great cheese heist. However, she was not aware that it was cheese she was lifting. She thought she was getting away with a block of COKE. Yes, that's right. She thought she was stealing a block of cocaine, lol. Now, I'm by no means a member of any drug cartel, but I do believe that even I would be able to tell the difference between a block of white cheddar and a block of blow. Please.

So, not only is she an identified thief, she is now labeled a known drug user. And, just to add insult to injury, mistaking a block of cheese for cocaine, makes her a MORON!


"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."

~P.J. O'Rourke