Friday, December 09, 2005

Cheese?

It's after 11p and as usual the house is sleeping. Thank God. I'm sitting at my computer, reading and just plain jerking around, while the TV is playing in the background. It's the news and quite naturally, a repeat of the earlier broadcast. I never have the opportunity to watch the prime-time news reports so, it's new to me. I am listening but not paying very close attention, until this.

The reporter told me to sit tight, that he would be right back with a story of a robbery. I'm thinking, "well, it's that time of year where people go off the deep end about getting gifts." I wasn't to surprised. Then I hear that the robbery was a block of cheese. Now, I feel bad. Here was this woman stealing to feed her family.

Not so. They flash the mug of a woman who is responsible for the great cheese heist. However, she was not aware that it was cheese she was lifting. She thought she was getting away with a block of COKE. Yes, that's right. She thought she was stealing a block of cocaine, lol. Now, I'm by no means a member of any drug cartel, but I do believe that even I would be able to tell the difference between a block of white cheddar and a block of blow. Please.

So, not only is she an identified thief, she is now labeled a known drug user. And, just to add insult to injury, mistaking a block of cheese for cocaine, makes her a MORON!


"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."

~P.J. O'Rourke

13 Comments:

Blogger Norman said...

LOL!! I saw this story... but let me tell ya. I know what kind of cheese this was. It does not really resemble cheese. It looks like.... squishy playdoh. That's white. For reals . I tried to snort it once and was constipated for a week! LOL not really.

I'm so glad I ruined you on Fed Ex. At least now you know the hell I go through when I see one on the highway!

Norm!

7:21 PM  
Blogger Aisha said...

It took everything in me to stay focused on my studying and not blog about this story when I first heard it... It's CRAZY. You got a look at her pic? They just keep showing the cheese. What made me mad was that she told the "hit man" if there's any kids kill them too because she wanted no witnesses. As Homer Simpson would say D'OH!!

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, that's funny. I think that I would caught that story too. :)

11:33 PM  
Blogger Jellyfish said...

bwaahahahhaha......

1:58 AM  
Blogger The Absent Minded Housewife said...

I enjoy snorting gouda.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Does cocaine come in blocks? News to me. I like to buy mine in bales. ;^|

6:30 AM  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

Hey man.. you got any Harvatii???

7:27 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

I saw that on the news too. MORON is an understatement.

7:34 AM  
Blogger eyes_only4him said...

Oh man, lets see...do u get jail time for trying to steal coke?

LMAO

8:43 AM  
Blogger Cathy said...

This is a true story?!
Have a great weekend.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Maybe they will feed her some cheese in prison.

12:00 PM  
Blogger momma of 2 said...

She's not gonna make it in prison - she's gonna get her assets kicked! lol I didn't know coke came in blocks like cheese - guess I need to get out more.

8:02 AM  
Blogger Laney said...

Roflol!!

That is soo funny. You may or may not believe this but I would not know the difference between cheese and cocaine either! My husband laughs and says I was raised under a rock! I wouldn't know a joint if it fell out of the sky and lit my hair on fire.

My dad is a retired Jersey City cop and the silent rule was, if you do drugs I.will.kill.you!

Love that quote!

6:28 PM  

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