Tuesday, November 29, 2005

...and DO NOT come out!

Those few words followed, "get into your rooms, NOW." Give me strength. One day last week, just before the holiday, the kids about sent me to my death. I mean, I felt myself rocketing to the edge without any signs of slowing down. I was sure that Honey would be making calls over the weekend, stating there was a terrible accident. She snapped.

When I realized that I had to do something and do it quick, sending them to their rooms was the only thing I could think of that would save the lives of us all. With all the air my smoke free lungs of 8 years could hold I shouted, "the two of you get into your rooms and DO NOT come out for any reason." Well now. As they both recognized the verge of hysteria tone in my voice, they complied without any lip. Now I'm thinking, "OK girl, in through the nose and out through the mouth and repeat."

I continued with my task at hand. (couldn't even tell you what it was now) I for whatever reason, stepped out into the mud room and shut the door behind me. Bad, bad thing. Very bad. I am now locked out of the house. CRAP! With my head in my hands or better yet up my butt I'm standing there looking at my keys dangling just inches from me. However, on the other side of the door.

We have taught the kids to NEVER open the door for anyone they don't know, for any reason. Now, I'm think this is not at all going to come in handy here. I start knocking on the door. Man, are they going to come out? I told them not for any reason. They can't open the door because they don't know who it is because they aren't going to come out. Genius. Now, I'm banging and yelling. Open the door. Because Michaels room is closest to the door I am seriously rapping on, I hear him shout, " who it is." "It's ME, Mommy." This all goes on longer than I would have liked but he finally emerges from his room. Oh, thank God. Mina is right behind him by now. Michael opens the door and asked why I locked myself out. Please. I am however, very grateful that Michael was there because if it were up to Mina, she would have negotiated me back in. I mean, we would have had to strike a serious deal, for her to put the first ounce of weight on that gold lever that would allow me entry.

Naturally, they didn't have to return to their dungeons, but there was no need. They both were a pleasure for the rest of the afternoon.

"Kind words will unlock an iron door"

-Turkish Proverb


Blogger Laney said...

ROFL!!! You poor thing. I have to tell you, I have been there, done that, on both of those things!

Locked myself out of the house and yelled at my children. Except the one I use is, "Do you want to see my head explode?" I know that are totally thinking, "Heck, yeah!"

8:11 PM  
Blogger Marel Lecone said...

Omigosh. I agree--you poor thing! The comment above comment cracked me up a bit too. I think that I will use that one also in the future. I have a fear of locking myself out--I have always planned on breaking into my own house. Isn't that terrible? :) Talk to you later. And, thanks for checking up on me. :)

8:43 PM  
Blogger The Daily Rant said...

OMG. If it were me, I would have left you out there. I've BEEN there when you've done the "GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!!!" bellow and I'm telling you, at 38 years old, I was looking for a room to go to!

HOW funny. Man, I miss you guys.

Love you.


10:44 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

Well it's a good thing your kids were home..Can u imagine if they weren't and u locked yourself out, and your neignours weren't home as well..lol oye ok not funny but it did make me chuckle.

Have a great day and leave a set of keys in your pocket. ;)

3:18 AM  
Blogger Cathy said...

Mommy nightmare. I actually thought I wasn't going to be able to read on...oh lord; but you survived; I had a day like that yesterday, but at least I wasn't locked out of the house. You need a night out, girl.

5:26 AM  
Blogger cubmommy said...

I know it wasn't funny then but man that is funny! I have a fear of locking myself out with the kids inside.

We have a small apartment so there isn't really anyplace someone could get privacy. I wish I could be sent to my room.

You definitely need a night out!

6:08 AM  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

Awesome. Love the Proverb!

6:25 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Perhaps you should have started running. Away from the house!

I did that once. Locked myself out of my car after my son had made a complete ass out of himself in Blockbuster. But that's a another story for another blog.

6:58 AM  
Blogger Bossy‚ô•'s YOU said...

that is way funny!!

next time better put a stipualtion in the "going to your room and stay there" better add: " unless your mother is locked out of the house, or bleeding and can not reach the phone to dial 911..u should have all your basis covered that way:)

8:24 AM  
Blogger vani said...

LOL- that is too funny...but what good kids they are huh?? see mine at thier age, i woulda had to break a window or something..lol

12:11 PM  
Blogger Blogdreamz said...

You gotta do what you have to do just to keep your sanity other wise the kids will think Mommy has 4 heads! Oh wait, do they think you do now? LOL!

5:18 PM  
Blogger ***Double_Oh_No*** said...

Yes, hopefully you can look back and laugh now. I have been having those days with my one here lately; wonder if it's something in the air.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Wethyb said...

That's kinda funny :) The proverb fits to a tee!

7:23 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I had that happen to me except my daughter actually locked me out.. and then couldn't get it unlocked. So I sat outside the house and tried to get her to open the door.. then I had to leave my 3 kids inside.. Alex strapped in his high chair and run across the street to use my neighbors phone... all the while hoping my daughters didnt burn the house down.

Although, after that occasion I kinda wanted to kill them.

8:09 PM  

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