Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Why does it happen? Better question, how does it happen? How is it, that two people could love each other enough to stand before God and witnesses and vow to love and care for one another until death.......only to end up feeling nothing but hatred.

After sharing several mile stones, emotional as well as intimate moments together......Such as the birth of their children, deaths of friends and family, purchasing their first home, finishing school, starting a business or finally getting that promotion.

After sharing secrets, fears, crazy ideas, doubts.....after sharing a toothbrush, a glass of wine and a bed, it's over.

I am of the full understanding that things change. People change, situations change, things start moving in a different direction. Granted, not always in the best direction and the changes may not be the best at the moment, but does that mean it has to end. Is there no working it out?

Did he wake up one morning and decide his life with her was just that bad. That his sex life was so unsatisfying that he just had to have his needs fulfilled elsewhere. That she just didn't keep house the way he wanted and was a lousy cook. Or, did she wake up and suddenly feel that he was uncaring and insensitive, that he was selfish in bed, didn't handle money in a responsible manner or could careless if he was in her company or not?

They're at the end and now, he dislikes her so much, he promises to quit his job before giving her cent.......Even though it's for his two children. He stops paying the mortgage and is less than a week away of having the electric turned off. So, regardless of the children and their welfare, his hate for her is so great he is willing to allow these everyday necessities to laps because of anger directed at her. She is so beside herself with hate there have been threats made to take care of things with a ball bat and hopes voiced that her attorney will rip him a new place to have a BM! Ouch! Yet just a few years ago they gazed into each others eyes and promised......

Well, I don't have any of the answers to these questions and yes there are many reasons for divorce, still I don't know why it gets that far. However, if it does, she no longer has to love, like, respect or give a rats butt about him as a man or husband.........but, because she cared enough about him at one time to plan and start a family, she must care about him as a father, because their children do. Vise versa!

So, if you can't "I Do" for each other forever, remember to "Do" for the kids!

Side note: No, it's not me threatening with the ball bat.....but for the past couple of months I've been a big ear for two girlfriends who have been struggling with the big "D." Gosh, it's just all so horrible.


Anonymous sarahgrace said...

Dude, that sucks! I was freaked out at first, thinking this was what you were going through and that's why you hadn't posted in a relieved it's not!

I just don't get divorce, I just know it sucks- even if there is a good reason to get one.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Cathy said...

I hope they are able to get through this. It must be a terrible time for them, but they are fortunate to have you to listen to them. Take time to cherish your own family!

5:39 AM  
Blogger Vani said...

my parents split up a few years ago and i asked all those questions too. how could 2 people that shared 25 yrs together finally decide to call it quits? sometimes, there is just too much water under the bridge...

6:43 AM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I started reading this and almost had tears in my eyes, thinking it was you - so glad it's not you.

divorce is an awful, but sometimes very necessary thing.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Twisted Cinderella said...

I will never understand why the bitterness that accompanies divorce has to spill over onto the innocent children. It truly is hearbreaking.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

Me too, on being afraid it was you, at first!
I've heard some scary separation/divorce stories and you just never can tell what people will do/

8:53 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

It is hard to imagine giving up so much... divorce makes me sad. There are times I'm very glad a friend had the guts to split up a bad relationship, but even that makes me feel bad... that the idea of it from the beginning was never as it seemed.

7:44 PM  

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