Monday, February 19, 2007

Questions that are just dumb!

After 16 years I'm not any closer to understanding why my husband asks such, well.....stupid questions. Such as.....

- Are we out of milk?
No, I thought I'd start keeping it in the kids closet for a change. You might want to check in there.

- Is this mine?
I've prepared a meal, fixed a plate and placed it on the table were you sit. It's really for the man I've been seeing but he can't make it tonight so help yourself.

- Did you buy this?
No, I've spent the last three days planning my big salad dressing in a spray bottle heist at the supermarket.

- Did you pick up the kids?
-Nah, I thought I'd let them hitch hike home from school today. It will be a good experience for them.

- Where are you?
OK, think way back....15 seconds ago of what number you dialed. Where am I? I'm HOME!

- Have you seen my blah, blah, blah?
Baby, I've seen everything you've got. It doesn't mean I have any idea where it is.

- What time is it in there?
OK, our living room and kitchen are not in different time zones. It's exactly the same time if you would just turn your head a fraction to the RIGHT!!

- Where are the kids?
Well, it's 9:15 on a Wednesday. That's right! David called, his parents are out of town, so they're over there partying.

- Are you watching this?
Hm! I'm sitting on the sofa, staring at the square box that has moving people on it and dialogue, telling a story. Nooooo, I'm not watching THAT!!

- Do you have your keys with you?
Lets see. I've just pulled into the driveway, got out of the vehicle and am heading for the house. No. I left them inside, my finger also works well in the ignition.

OK, now don't mistake this as a lack of love for my weirdo. I love him very much but what is that? UGH!!


Anonymous sarahgrace said...

Hee hee hee! I think we all get asked a lot of those same questions. I hate to admit, but it's the ones my kids ask me that annoy me the most... oh well...

5:35 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I'm still laughing at "have you seen my_______ - I so understand.

6:14 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Honestly, if you don't laugh, you will cry, so you might as well laugh your ass off. I know I am!

6:25 PM  
Blogger cubmommy said...

I get those questions all the time from my hubby and my kids. I always make something up as an answer.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Laney said...

LOL! Are you married to my husband?

6:38 PM  
Blogger Little Miss said...

that's too funny...I think it must be a guy thing because my husband asks stupid (mostly rhetorical) questions all.the.time.

and he wonders why I answer him in a pissy voice---

hmmm...think real hard.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Aisha said...

I laughed myself silly reading this!!!! LOL. Thanks for the laugh :::::)

10:50 AM  
Blogger Meow said...

Are you sure you don't know my husband !!?!?!?!
Take care, Meow

5:07 PM  
Blogger The Daily Rant said...

You bought salad dressing in a SPRAY bottle?????

8:22 PM  
Blogger chronicler said...

This must go down as a hall of fame entry in blogland. It is the best I've read for days, months, years possibly.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Twisted Cinderella said...

This is too funny! Reminds me of those, "Here's Your Sign" jokes

8:14 AM  
Blogger K said...

You. are. hilarious.

10:56 AM  
Blogger melissa c said...

OK, I laughed clear through this! This not only fits the hubby but each of my kids too! Too perfect?

12:55 PM  
Blogger Yolanda said...

LOVED this!!

4:37 PM  
Blogger D. Marie said...

LOL! You can tell how much you love him because like my aunt arent afraid to write jokes about him or men in general!

12:39 PM  

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