What's in your head?

It is not at ALL uncommon for my kids to do weirdo things. Actually, it's almost normal and even expected but today even I had to ask. Mina was dancing around in her usually manner, while singing and came out with something off the wall. (my brain is fried this evening and can't for the life of me think what it was now) You'll have to trust me.

Laughing, I turned and looked at her saying, "What is wrong with you....WHAT, is in your head that you would say something like that?" She is now hysterical and said, "There is a pisketti party in there Mommy!" Oh My GOSH, WHAT?! I don't have the faintest idea where that came from but I suppose if you have to have something in there, why not some dancing macaroni?


“Nothing spoils lunch any quicker than a rogue meatball rampaging through your spaghetti."

-Jim Davis

HNT #21

In the blue...

Can't wait to have my frogmen back. Come ON Summer time!!

Happy HNT!

"If you love life then do not waste time for that is what life is made of."

- Ben Franklin

Not a good enough reason.....

....for me to complain, that is. I'm not much a of lamenting person by nature. I take things in stride for the most part and stay pretty even keeled. I would not at all consider myself a complainer. However, like most, I have my moments.

A week ago I volunteered my time along with several other people to an elderly gentleman. Mr. G. was diagnosed just after Christmas with brain cancer. He has gone under brain surgery and is now undergoing a very aggressive course of radiation. Five days a week for seven weeks....I will be going on Tuesdays.

Today was my first day. Me, along with a girlfriend, did a ride along with the family just to get an idea of what would be involved. On arriving at the clinic we signed in and sat down. While sitting there I gazed around the room in complete disbelief. Every SINGLE person that was waiting for their name to be called was impressively pleasant. The woman across the way smiled and lifted her hand to wave at me, the gentleman opposite her tipped his head and flashed me a broad smile showing his beautiful white teeth and a woman, not much older than I am, was leaving the room and held the door open for ME. I wanted to go and hug every last one of them and assure them that every thing would be just fine. Now, I know that is not at all a reasonable thing to do and perhaps in their cases not an accurate statement.

Then there was a man, that was clearly a grandfather, he came in with who I imagine was his daughter. His first visit. The front desk woman greeted his warmly and spoke to him briefly, then handed him a clipboard with all the necessary paperwork. My heart just sank watching them both take their seats and begin writing.

Mr. G. was called back. He requested that we accompany him to the radiation area. So, we take the walk down the hall that is marked with all the appropriate signs and warning about radiation being in use. Then we went into this very large, dimly lit room with a HUGE machine with lights and gauges. It was too much, I had to leave the room and wait in the hall.

While standing there alone for a moment, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself ever having a lamenting thought. For ever complaining about anything. For that very brief time I was actually standing very near the lives of these people that have every reason to complain and yet they ALL smiled a greeted me with incredible kindness. They are a fighting a horrific fight and are doing it with grace and courage.

I pray I will remember these faces that I see so clearly now, the next time I feel I have a reason to feel sorry for myself.

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

-Unknown

Boy, he catches on quick!

Of all the posts I've ever made, he reads that one. I haven't been blogging long, less than a year, but I do try to post regularly. My husband is well aware that I have a blog and that I do write to it daily, for the most part. However, he has no interest at all in mine or anyone else's for that matter....which could work out to a good thing.

The one post he did read was about him and the dream he had.....another man having his way with me in the kitchen. LOL! (That still makes me laugh) I left my page up and found him sitting at the computer, his head buried in the screen. After reading the post he shook his head and said, "there is something seriously wrong with you!" I'm totally laughing at him now and thought "Well, YEAH there is, I said YES to committing to you for the rest of my life"

He goes on to say, "I can't believe you would post that.....that's IT, I'm not telling you anything else, EVER!" "Yes Honey, and I'm going to hold my breath for the next 12 to 15 years, or at least until the kids graduate" I mean who is he kidding, he couldn't keep something to himself if his life depended on it. He just isn't physically capable.

The other evening, He's doing something off the wall. I can't remember what it was exactly but it did involve a pair of boxer briefs on his head, a freshly showered bod and a bath towel. I went ripping down the hall, telling him to wait I want to get my camera. Needless to stay, he dashed back into the bathroom with lightening speed. I was standing outside beating on the door begging for a shot. He responded while laughing like a fool......."Are you MAD, so what, you can bloooooooog IT?"

I have I to give him credit, at least he knows my intent. Sadly though, I never did get the shot!


“Intelligence is quickness in seeing things as they are."

- George Santayana

Sunday Funnies

"Women's Studies"

A study conducted by the University of California-Los Angeles' Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

*I personally don't get this way but I think it is DARN funny!

Yes, but NOT at 3 am

First, let me just say that I'm all about good hygiene. My two "must do's" before crawling into bed are, showering and brushing my teeth....ALWAYS!

Several weeks ago I started this horrendous water drinking regimen. It's not that I'm opposed to drinking water, I don't mind it at all. It's the never ending trips to the bathroom that are killing me. (I need a bladder stretching exercise) It's an endless race, one that my kids find great humor in.

I do however, make an effort to stop drinking after 4 pm. I'm not at all about night trips, though is does happen. It's nearing the three o'clock hour and I have to go, there is no holding it. I get up and stagger across the room to our bathroom. I thinking, "ah, relief is just steps away." I never turn on the light, (just something I think is a perk about being a girl....no aiming required) I sit and SPLASH! For crying out LOUD. That's right I'm in. I haul my butt out of the bowl, NOW with the light on. I was not at all prepared for a full coolie detailing at 3 am....I had to wash, buff and dust. I swear, I just wanted to pee. Wash my hands, YES..my ass, NO!

I get myself together and get back into bed, thank goodness. In the morning I asked Honey, "Did you NOT hear a near drowning in the bathroom last night?" He laughed like some kinda freak because he knew exactly what I was talking about.

The thing is....he's TRAINED. He never, ever does that. In all the years I can't remember one time, so imagine my surprise. I guess him getting up in a state of semi-consciousness can cause certain things to happen. My son...a completely different story. He's still in training.

HNT #20

Is looking over your shoulder.......

always such a bad thing?

Happy Half Nekkid Thurday!!

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is the finger of God on a man's shoulder."

- Margaret Kennedy

On Hold

I've been listening to this song for some time now. And every time I hear it, I always think of the all women who have and women that will put their lives, hopes and dreams on hold for the sake of family. For the wonderful pleasure of raising children.

I personally am doing exactly what I've wanted to do since I was very young and don't feel as though I've sacrificed anything. However, I know there are plenty of you who have. (Great lyrics....much better with music!)

These Four Walls

(Sara Evans)

Wasn't that long ago

I was skipping school with a lunchbox

Pigtails in my hair

Where did the time go

One minute I'm playing in the sandbox

How'd I get to here from there

Making lunches and folding clothes

Is not the most glamourous life I know

But I've got so much more than most

[Chorus]

I'm not famous but my kids think I'm a star

Im not rich but I've made a million memories so far

I may not be a model

But My man thinks I could be

I may not be from royalty

But in these four walls

I'm the queen

I had it all planned

First I'd make it big in Nashville

Then take hollywood by storm

But it was in God's hands

There were three little lives that would need me

To one day be their mom

I wouldn't trade it for anything

Those movie stars don't have everything

I know I'm right where I wanna be

[Repeat Chorus]

I had to let it go, but I have no regrets

I would have never known this kind of happiness

[Repeat Chorus]

“Getting what you want is not nearly as important as giving what you have."

- Tom Krause

Quickest way for me to embarrass my Husband....

....IS, to without him knowing, and while he's standing there, ask Grandma to take the kids home from church for a couple of hours. Yup, that's it, and I know this because that's what I did Sunday. It was so cute to see him turn several shades of pink before hitting red. Just as he started sweating, he bolted out the back of the church. I tossed the kids in Grandma's car and headed home with Honey. On the way home it was....

Honey: "Honey, WHY do you do that?"

Me: (all innocent of course) "Do what?"

Honey: "You know what!"

Me: (now laughing) "Yes I do!"

Honey: "Babe, you know she knows what we are gonna to be doin'."

Me: "Well yeah, I suspect she may have an idea." (still giggling) "Then again, she could think we're just working on our taxes."

Honey: (Just shook his head and rolled his eyes)

*sigh*

Later, I go get the kids. I walk in and find Grandma standing in the kitchen wearing a huge smile. I give her a squeeze and tell her thank you, only to hear her giggle. Again, my question is, "WHAT?" She tells me, "oh, nothing." I smiled and told her we were just doing our taxes and we will be getting quite a refund. We are both laughing now.....her response, "REALLY?"

Needless to say, Honey didn't show up until much later, lol!

*Side note: Grandma is neither his or my Mother, she is our neighbor. We don't have any family here and she has totally adopted my two kids as her very own Grandchildren. (lucky me)


“Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

-F. J. Raymond

My hole

It's happened and so soon. My little girl has already lost her first tooth. I swear, she has just turned 5 and already she's sporting the Jack-O-Lantern look. It was loose for several weeks and after eating an apple one afternoon she came running into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, look it's really loose now!" Man, and it was. I pulled it back with my thumb and it popped. The only thing left to do was yank it out, and I did.



She was a great sport about it, actually she didn't complain at all and was very excited. After we stopped the little bit of bleeding and showed her brother, she raced to the mirror. I hear her squeal with excitement about her new look from down the hall, then footsteps racing back my way....."Mommy, I can't wait to go to school tomorrow and show everyone my hole" Needless to say, I giggled and agreed that yes, it will be fun. However, it's not anything I want to hear her say at 16, while flying out the door for school. (My word, the years to come!)


“Perhaps no mightier conflict of mind occurs ever again in a lifetime than that first decision to unseat one's own tooth"

- Gene Fowler

Sunday Funnies

MODERN DAY FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?"The guy said, "NO!"And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased and farted whenever she wanted.

THE END

Wrong Number

The other morning I tried calling my Dad. Nothing urgent, just wanted to let him know he should expect something in the mail in the next couple of days. I was home and thought I'd use the house phone but like most people my phonebook is my cell phone. So I look up his number, because I have NO one memorized, they are all on speed dial. There is his home number, listed along with several other numbers to reach him.

I dial and wait. The phone is picked up but I don't recognize the voice. I had no idea who picked up the phone, but I didn't want to just hang up. Dad's name is Pete, Peter or he is fondly referred to as Petey by all us kids. We do call him Dad though really.

I didn't know who I was talking to so I asked for Peter...

Me: "Hi, is Peter there please?"

Stupid Guy: "Who?"

Me: "Peter, is he there?"

Stupid Guy: "Well, "I" have a peter and "he's" up, but there's no Peter here."

I'm thinking, "Look MORON, I don't give a monkeys ass about the condition of any part of your anatomy....I'm just looking for my Dad."

Me: "Yeah, well I'm sorry to have bothered you, I believe I have the wrong number."

Stupid Guy: "Sure, not a problem."

Me: Oh, and you should probably go take care of condition you have there, JERK!" (click)

Why, WHY? Was it really necessary for that brainless idiot to response in such a crude manner? I swear, after responding so politely and hanging up, I really wanted to call the stupid ass back and give him a piece of my mind. Unfortunately, I didn't know what number I called and I had already dialed another number so redial was out.

I promise, the next slime ball won't get off so easy!!

HNT #19

The "Can-Can" Kids!

Next stop.....Vegas BABY!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thurday.


" Can, Can, Can, Will, Will, Will!"

-Unknown

Psssssst, pass this up

Remember doing that? Sitting is class and having to tell a girlfriend something SO important, that it just couldn't wait. So you scratch it out on a small piece of paper and send via, anyone, just as long as they were slick enough NOT to get caught with your precious information.

Today while flipping though my day-timer, I came across a very short note that I jotted down for a girlfriend. I did this while sitting in a church council committee meeting and not wanting to wait until it was over.

Below it a picture of that note...


The only thing I have to say is...."WHEW!!!" Yes, I know, maybe a little crazy and living dangerously but what's life without a little excitement?

You people, and you know who you are, get it OUT of your heads. There isn't going to be "just one more."

Triple Lutz

That's right, you heard me. A Triple Lutz jump in figure skating. NO. I didn't do one, but there was skating or something that resembled it going on.

After Michaels basketball game that afternoon, another couple said they were taking the their kids skating and invited us to go along. I'm thinking, "GREAT, what fun, and the kids are going to love it." Now, although I felt appropriately dressed for the ball game in a pair of yoga pants with a little hoodie and my sneaks, I don't recommend this attire for skating.

First of all, Honey opted to sit this one out. Strictly a self preservation thing, considering he is the sole provider for the family. Me...a completely different story. I'm lacing them up and hitting the ice. Once I've finished strapping the deadly razors to the bottoms of my kids feet, we were all off. It's been YEARS since I've taken a spin on these steel gliders and my kids, NEVER before. Is the picture beginning to take shape in your mind?

I step out onto the ice gingerly to say the least, the kids right along side me. I take Mina around first, while Michael staggered along the railing. Before I knew it I had both of them in tow. OMGosh! Not only did I FEEL ridiculous, I KNEW with no uncertainty that I LOOKED even more ridiculous. Mina was directly in front of me holding my hands and moving her feet a mile a minute to get no where, as Michael skated like the frightened Scarecrow walked in the Wizard of Oz. His arms where flailing in every direction as his legs were doing the same thing in exactly the opposite direction. I was a human coat rack for the afternoon. As they would lose their balance, they would grab for me, and it didn't matter what it was. This is where the yoga pants are not recommended. Michael reaches out to catch himself from falling and grabs my pant leg. I'm trying to manage Mina and keep myself upright as it is. Michael grabs hold and hangs on for dear life and I begin feeling some very cool air on the right cheek of my coolie. (you know what under garment I was wearing with yoga pants) NOOO! Let GOOOOOO! Now, I'm holding Mina with one hand and my pants with the other and trying like crazy to keep us all on our feet. Whew! We made it. I then heard a woman who was right behind me laugh and say, "Holy cow, he almost puller her pants off!"

Needless to say, I tied my pants so tight, that my legs almost fell asleep.

The afternoon was insanely fun for everyone and I think we will be doing it again. However, next time I'll be wearing my securely buttoned Levi's.

Oh, and a workout? Take two kids, that have never skated before skating for a couple hours. I swear, I feel like I've been beaten with a very big stick!! But well worth it.


"When I go out on the ice, I just think about my skating. I forget it is a competition."

- Katarina Witt

Sunday Funnies

If I were the toothbrush, I believe I would be rethinking that!

In one word

That's how many words you get, ONE! If you had to describe me or what you know of me in one word, what word would it be? Come on, I know you do it all the time. "The girl in the supermarket is so..........?" "Man, that kid in the video store is amazingly........?"

So let's have it. Your word. What is it?


"Suit the action to the word, the word to the action."

- William Shakespeare

HNT #18

My Boy Shorty's

Sometimes it's just fun to dress like a boy!

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday!

“Politicians, like underwear, should be changed often, and for the same reasons"

-Unknown

Oh, his heart!

In light of some recent events with close friends and family, Honey decided he should go have a stress test. After all, he is 43, a smoker (yes, Honey smokes) and doesn't really do any sort of purposeful exercise. He's very physical, but we all know that doesn't count.

He makes an appointment and off he goes. Because it was a several hour undertaking, we decided that I not to go but agreed I would be close by in the event he keeled over during the tests.

When he got home, naturally I asked how it all went. His response was "Fine." He did say however, that they had a problem getting his heart rate up. Apparently, whatever they were doing as normal, had to be turned up a bit. Once they figured out where he needed to be, everything went quickly.

That same evening, after some adult play time I began to laugh. He for the life of him couldn't figure out what was so funny. (he knew he did WELL) I told him "Next time, never mind the treadmill......send me into the room with you hooked up to those wires for about an hour." He too started to laugh and said. "No kidding, it would be a whole lot more fun than running to get nowhere." I swear, I thought our hearts were going to race out of our chests.

His results came back with a huge smiley face that said "Normal!"


“To sentence a man of true genius, to the drudgery of a school is to put a racehorse on a treadmill."

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eagle Has Landed

No. No. Let me rephrase that...The Eagle Has Crashed! I thought I had escaped the horror of the stomach yak that has been going around. Well, that is a big negative. I've had a pukefest going on here since Saturday night. Michael kicked it off, and has since moved a little further south. This afternoon Mina started. Only she is full blown from both poles, ugh!

Well, I gotta run. It's going to be a long night people....wish me luck!

Run Forrest, run.....

Our house is located on a back road that is flat and very windy. These conditions make it extremely runner and bike rider friendly. Year round, you can find people running and riding on our road and past our house. Last weekend, while standing in the kitchen talking to Honey, we see a jogger go by. Neither one of us paid much attention and went on with our conversation.

Later (about 1 1/2 hours) this same jogger came walking up our driveway. He's lost. Honey, came in a tells me that the guy that past earlier was lost. I told him (Honey, not the guy) that he had to get off the pipe before he went running. How was he lost? My word, how far did he run that he lost his car?

After talking with our lost jogger friend for some time, Honey decided he would take him to a gas station to call a cab, on jogger's request. Next question. How the FREAK is this guy going to tell the cabby where to bring him? He lost his car! It was then decide that Honey would help him find his car. While on their hunt, they call me several times asking where certain picnic areas were. (Apparently, they think I have nothing better to do than picnic during the week, thus knowing where they all are.) I happened to know the area they were in and told them to make a left at the Exxon station. I asked my husband what this lunatic tried to do? They were now at least 20 miles from our house. Honey said that he was trying to run around the lake. "WHAT?" That was my very next word. Obviously, he was unaware that the lake was 18,000 acres and covered 7 counties....Crap, he would be running for weeks, lol!

Turns out this "mad" jogger has only been in the area since November from England. His family has a company and he decided to come here and work.

Well, they found his car at the boat ramp/picnic area, safe and sound. Honey gave him his number and the jogger actually used it. He called to say thank you again, and that he made it home alright. We decided it might be nice to have him for dinner and he agreed. I told him, next time if he really wanted to run our road he should probably park a little closer. Turns out, he ran over 30 miles that afternoon. CRAZY!

BTW...You guys are SO smart. Chinese was the take-out.

Roni's is Mina's Lo Mein
Red Chicken is Michael's boneless spare ribs
Raccoons are their fried Rangoons

"I don't jog. If I die I want to be sick".

~Abe Lemmons

Sunday Funnies

Poor Guy!!

Take-Out!

Once in a while, especially during the week, the day gets away from me. I look at my watch and before I know it, it's dinner time and I'm not even home yet. On these rare occasions we do order take-out. This particular afternoon, while finishing some errands I asked the kids, "What's for dinner?" and they replied.....

Michael: "Oh Mommy, I want red chicken."

Mina: "Roni's, I want Roni's and some Raccoon!"

Me: "Yeah, that sounds great. Let's head over to...........!

Where? Where are we heading. If you were in the car and had to bring these guys to the restaurant that served the dishes that were requested, where would you bring them?

"The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving any excuse"

-Jules Renard

HNT #17

Getting Squeaky Clean!

"MoOOMM!!"

(Nothing like a sneaky Mother with a camera. Pretty sure he'll be locking the door before long, lol!)

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday everyone.

“Marmalade in the morning has the same effect on taste buds that a cold shower has on the body.

- Jeanine Larmoth