Not a good enough reason.....

....for me to complain, that is. I'm not much a of lamenting person by nature. I take things in stride for the most part and stay pretty even keeled. I would not at all consider myself a complainer. However, like most, I have my moments.

A week ago I volunteered my time along with several other people to an elderly gentleman. Mr. G. was diagnosed just after Christmas with brain cancer. He has gone under brain surgery and is now undergoing a very aggressive course of radiation. Five days a week for seven weeks....I will be going on Tuesdays.

Today was my first day. Me, along with a girlfriend, did a ride along with the family just to get an idea of what would be involved. On arriving at the clinic we signed in and sat down. While sitting there I gazed around the room in complete disbelief. Every SINGLE person that was waiting for their name to be called was impressively pleasant. The woman across the way smiled and lifted her hand to wave at me, the gentleman opposite her tipped his head and flashed me a broad smile showing his beautiful white teeth and a woman, not much older than I am, was leaving the room and held the door open for ME. I wanted to go and hug every last one of them and assure them that every thing would be just fine. Now, I know that is not at all a reasonable thing to do and perhaps in their cases not an accurate statement.

Then there was a man, that was clearly a grandfather, he came in with who I imagine was his daughter. His first visit. The front desk woman greeted his warmly and spoke to him briefly, then handed him a clipboard with all the necessary paperwork. My heart just sank watching them both take their seats and begin writing.

Mr. G. was called back. He requested that we accompany him to the radiation area. So, we take the walk down the hall that is marked with all the appropriate signs and warning about radiation being in use. Then we went into this very large, dimly lit room with a HUGE machine with lights and gauges. It was too much, I had to leave the room and wait in the hall.

While standing there alone for a moment, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself ever having a lamenting thought. For ever complaining about anything. For that very brief time I was actually standing very near the lives of these people that have every reason to complain and yet they ALL smiled a greeted me with incredible kindness. They are a fighting a horrific fight and are doing it with grace and courage.

I pray I will remember these faces that I see so clearly now, the next time I feel I have a reason to feel sorry for myself.

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

-Unknown