Monday, October 24, 2005

Whose dream is it anyway?

The life's dream, whose is it? I mean, is it mine? Is it his? Is it yours or theirs? Exactly who gets to live the dream? Who gets to say? Or, is it that the decisions that are made, become the dream? I know, an awful lot of questions. Still, I want to know.

For as long as I can remember, what I'm doing is all I ever wanted to do. Have a husband, kids, home, all the simple things and all for me to care for. Not really stepping out there but still, for me very fulfilling. After reading a post of a friend it made me think. Is it the spouses, in my case my husbands dream to bust his hump every single day to provide for his family? I didn't say responsibility, I said dream. Of course it's his responsibility. I mean these people, lets call them the providers, are they living their dream? I just wonder. Most every provider I know works insane hours, takes time away from friends and family and for the most part not in love with what they do. Not much of a dream if you ask me. Sounds a little nightmarish. Did the provider get sucked into their partners dream? Not that there wasn't a choice that was made on their part of course. Or is the provider living their dream and the spouse that is just the housewife or not in a career that is as fulfilling financially, sucked into theirs? I just don't know.

Regardless, of what side of the partnership you are on, we all have a responsibility to our partners. I'm sure there are dreams out there greater than the one you and/or your spouse is living at the moment. I truly believe that everyone will have their turn to be the lead performer in their dream, in time. Until then, we should encourage, support, talk about and believe in them just to keep the dream alive, no matter what it is. Life's book is filled with many pages of give and take. If you are the taker in this chapter, be sure the thank the giver regularly and let them know how much you appreciate all that they do. Ensure them that they too will have the opportunity to be the taker. It's only fair.


Blogger Rose said...

My husband really do support my dreams. But truthfully I have never really asked him whether he is living his dream. I just assumed he was living it. I am going to ask tonight. I think that may make me a little selfish.

6:52 PM  
Blogger Grey Street Girl said...

what a great post... i was thinking about this close to a week ago... realizing how i am so caught up in this sudden inspiration to follow through with my dreams and how it makes me feel that he doesn't really seem supportive. granted, he loves his job and by going to work everyday is living his dream, BUT all of a sudden my eyes were sort of open and i realized that he is not a one dimensional charachter in some novel...

4:29 AM  
Blogger TC said...

In our case it is our dream. He gets mass amounts of time to himself to do the things he wants to do and I get mass amounts of time to spend with my family which is what I want to do.

5:43 AM  
Blogger cubmommy said...

A great post! Hubby is sort of doing is dream he is writing but I think the company he works for is not ideal. He feels stuck because of having a family. Meaning the pay he gets he probably would not get working at his dream job.

I have been encouraging photography because he has a gift for it. He loves doing it and right now it is a hobby but maybe in the future it could be a profession and a dream come true.

I know he has sacrificed in his career for us. I wish he could find something that truly makes him happy.

He is always telling me I am a good wife and mommy and I can only hope to make him feel that is appreciated also

8:46 AM  
Blogger Andi said...

I try, at every corner to support everything my hubby wants to do, as he does me. I know he has his dreams, I have my dreams and I know together, we have OUR dreams. We talk about them often. It's not even thought about...whether to, or not to support the other one in their dreams. It just is.

10:01 AM  
Blogger momma of 2 said...

great post...I know neither one of us is living our dream at the moment, but to be honest I don't know what my dream is, and I know that his is not where he is, but responsiblity has taken over... (kids will do that) and we are doing what we have to do for now to get by, and looking into ways to make the dreams come true...although they may be a few years out.

4:30 PM  
Blogger vani said...

i agree- believing is achieving! :)

5:09 PM  
Blogger Cathy said...

great post; made me stop and think...

5:41 PM  
Blogger Laney said...

What a great post! I often feel that way about my husband, he works so hard and so long, for us. He will tell me regularly that his pleasure comes from seeing us happy. I am blessed with a wonderful husband!

6:00 PM  
Blogger car said...

In a healthy partnership there must always be this give and take and the realization that no matter what--no filthy hippies will be the product of the partnership. The future is only assured if our country keeps passing conservative values on down to the children. Asheville, NC and some other liberal communities have failed at this, but for the sake of our nation, you must not!

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Vic....please don't raise any filthy hippies? WTF? Hippies have dreams, too!


5:56 AM  
Blogger Christie said...

what's a dream? and there's turns?

5:18 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

Hello fellow mommy,
I'm new to the blogging world, so I am probably a bit late to comment on this post, but I will anyway. I think your post is an excellent question, one that like other commenters, I too, stopped and thought about. Neither my husband nor I are in our 'ideal' situations, but we live each day encouraging the other to continue on our path to those. In fact, we each made a list of 25 things (dreams, ideas, interests, etc) we would not necessarily know about each other and trade weeks accomplishing (or at least creatively trying) them.

2:15 PM  

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