My husband CRAP!

While spinning around the house with my favorite partner, my bagless (mostly because he lets me lead) I make a discovery. Not that it's a new one by any means, it just occurred to me today. Not only do I have to pick up the destruction that is left in the wake of my offspring before I vacuum, I have to also follow behind honey.

He has so much crap strewn around this house, I just can't take it. Besides which, these things don't even belong in here. Below, please take notice of exhibits A-D. I will ask the jury to remember that we have just put on a "mudroom" with ample space for all of the items pictured. Thank you!

Exhibit A

Here, we have a compound bow that is ever so nicely leaning against the wall in my oh so feminine bedroom. I swear, not only is it ugly, it looks like a contraption that could be used in some S&M activity. Hm, only if it were so!

Exhibit B

Next, we have a pair of hunting boots and two rod and reels, neatly tucked between a armoire and the wall. Right where it belongs, in the sitting room off the kitchen. I have to admire the fact that he has two sporting activities right there in ONE place, and one is already baited with a worm. (rubber of course) Genius!

Exhibit C

Here, in my dining room you will find hunting clothes. I know, once again perfectly placed right where they belong, wedged between the china cabinet and wall. He was very careful to place them in large zip lock bags as to NOT get any people scent on them. Please! What I really want to do is, take a weeks worth of dirty socks and underwear and jam them in the bag. So, the next time he gets decked out, to go into the woods and sit there like a FREAK in the freezing cold, he'll smell like rotten feet. (that will teach him to leave his stuff within my reach)

Exhibit D

Lastly and my personal favorite, the chargers for the batteries of his cordless tools. These are on display and can be viewed in the corner of my kitchen, on the floor. (I guess it could be worse, they could be on display in the bedroom. Wow, what would that say?) OK, first not only are they very annoying to have IN the kitchen, he hasn't been doing any screwing with those things lately. I myself would much rather be dealing with the tools that take a couple of "D" batteries, lol!

To top it all off, honey has grown his boy parts big enough to have the nerve to say something to me about a pair of misplaced sneakers. Please! Next time he may not only have to be dodging a flying sneaker, he will also be scavenging his things off the front lawn. If people happen to stop, thinking is a yard sale, woo-hoo! Just name your price and it's yours.

"Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots."

- Hoosier Farmer