Thursday, October 27, 2005

My husband CRAP!

While spinning around the house with my favorite partner, my bagless (mostly because he lets me lead) I make a discovery. Not that it's a new one by any means, it just occurred to me today. Not only do I have to pick up the destruction that is left in the wake of my offspring before I vacuum, I have to also follow behind honey.

He has so much crap strewn around this house, I just can't take it. Besides which, these things don't even belong in here. Below, please take notice of exhibits A-D. I will ask the jury to remember that we have just put on a "mudroom" with ample space for all of the items pictured. Thank you!

Exhibit A

Here, we have a compound bow that is ever so nicely leaning against the wall in my oh so feminine bedroom. I swear, not only is it ugly, it looks like a contraption that could be used in some S&M activity. Hm, only if it were so!

Exhibit B

Next, we have a pair of hunting boots and two rod and reels, neatly tucked between a armoire and the wall. Right where it belongs, in the sitting room off the kitchen. I have to admire the fact that he has two sporting activities right there in ONE place, and one is already baited with a worm. (rubber of course) Genius!

Exhibit C

Here, in my dining room you will find hunting clothes. I know, once again perfectly placed right where they belong, wedged between the china cabinet and wall. He was very careful to place them in large zip lock bags as to NOT get any people scent on them. Please! What I really want to do is, take a weeks worth of dirty socks and underwear and jam them in the bag. So, the next time he gets decked out, to go into the woods and sit there like a FREAK in the freezing cold, he'll smell like rotten feet. (that will teach him to leave his stuff within my reach)

Exhibit D

Lastly and my personal favorite, the chargers for the batteries of his cordless tools. These are on display and can be viewed in the corner of my kitchen, on the floor. (I guess it could be worse, they could be on display in the bedroom. Wow, what would that say?) OK, first not only are they very annoying to have IN the kitchen, he hasn't been doing any screwing with those things lately. I myself would much rather be dealing with the tools that take a couple of "D" batteries, lol!

To top it all off, honey has grown his boy parts big enough to have the nerve to say something to me about a pair of misplaced sneakers. Please! Next time he may not only have to be dodging a flying sneaker, he will also be scavenging his things off the front lawn. If people happen to stop, thinking is a yard sale, woo-hoo! Just name your price and it's yours.

"Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots."

- Hoosier Farmer


Blogger Christie said...

I can guarantee you that he doesn't even notice that they are "out of place". Men are so clueless! lol

10:05 PM  
Blogger Marel Lecone said...

My husband pissed me off so bad this morning--I almost unhooked the cable box. That would have meant that he would have missed the last game. I guess I got over it. Good thing for him! heehee :)

10:25 PM  
Blogger Little Miss said...

hunting gives me the creeps. i just can't fathom the idea of killing an innocent animal for fun (food, maybe...but sport?!)

that's just me, i've never understood it...and i never will. Good for you to put up with it!

(just don't post any pics of bambi's head on your wall, k?)
j/k! ; )

10:27 PM  
Anonymous ME said...

At least your husband does things like hunt, fish, and works around the house when things need to be repaired. Mine just sits on his ass after dinner and does NOTHING and tells me he is tired. I wish I had the nerve to tell him if he had more between the ears he would not have to work as hard as he says he does?????? hard I don't think so!!!!!

7:13 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Jury: GUILTY!! of leaving his shit in the oddest of places!

11:03 AM  
Blogger momma of 2 said...

I'd say guilty as charged... He needs to do the housecleaning for a month!

6:14 PM  
Blogger Norman said...

I'd go after him with the compound bow, teach him to leave his crap laying around like that!


8:15 PM  
Blogger Rose said... husband is worse....but he expects me to pick up after him..he stores everything rather than throw away...

8:26 PM  
Blogger Hasan Mubarak said...

It surely was an interesting exhibition...

If your husband does not realize the presence of this scrap, you can try earning a few bucks by putting them up on eBay...

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Angie said...

This post REALLY made me laugh! Being married to a hunter, fisher, golfer (I'm sure I'm forgetting another sport) I know EXACTLY where you are coming from!

6:52 AM  
Blogger ***Double_Oh_No*** said...

This cracked me up!

8:44 AM  
Blogger Blogdreamz said...

Geez, it seems every blog I go to all of us blabbed about crap and pet peeves. Is there something in the air? LOL!
Mine was about the refrigerator and toilet. LOL!

7:01 AM  

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