Mommyyyyyyy, My Goldfish!!!

Yes, the brightly colored orange little guys that have graced the desks, dressers and nightstands of kids for decades. These same jelly eyed, finned friends would swim to the glass in hopes to receive a flaky morsel. Most of which would get more then ample bounty. Also, with the memory capacity of that of my best friend ever….Salena, they would swim for miles and miles to get right back where they began. Essentially, going nowhere.

And all this just to be found belly up by its loving little caregiver and sent to a watery grave with one simple flush. However, for the civilized and sophisticated ones of our race, there would be a lovely memorial service in the back yard. This service consisted of family and friends along with the deceased. This being the formal affair it is the loyal friend would be laying in state in a shoebox that once was home to a pair of Prada’s. Naturally all along being held by it’s grieving owner.

Oh gosh, I got off on a tear! “Goldfish”…I was referring to the snack cracker. You know, the ones “that smile until you bite their heads off”. Being a young family, with a six-year-old son and four year old daughter we spend our fair share of time burning up the roads. School – home- bank- post office-home…. oops 2pm back to school. On some days it’s then off to dance and Michael is ALWAYS over joyed. He once suggested that I leave him home by himself and return to him when dance was over. Oh, the simplicity of being a child.

Anyway, we for the most part eat at home but have been known to darken the door of a fast food joint or two. Well, darken the drive thru really….remember we are in a hurry. And always try to have snacks in the car. Even if that meant looking on the floor, under the seats, door pockets and yes even removing the actual car seat. Upon doing that not so regular task we discover an array of what some may call fine dining. A smorgasbord if you will. Lets see, Skittles, peanuts, cheese-nips, raisins and chips to name a few items. There is even some coinage found, which is quickly confiscated by the locator for his or her piggy bank. Well, on this day Mina and I were at friends and the clock was about to strike the magic hour of 2pm. Time to pick up big brother. Tyler asked for a drink upon our departure and not only received it but one for Michael as well and a snack for both of them. Well, as most parents of young children know, there is a “black hole” in our vehicles. This is the place where all things go. “Where is my baseball?’…I don’t know it was in the car. “Where is my other sneaker?”…..I don’t know it was in the car. “Where is the dog?”……I don’t know it was in the car. Needless to say when reaching the school and retrieving Michael – Mina stated proudly that she had a drink and a snack for him. Now, where did it go??? I get out and look and look and look…….no cheese and cracker snack pack to be seen. Mina’s choice was the snack size bag of goldfish yes the goldfish. Being the tender heart she is and the ideal little sister she was more them willing to share her fish. Michael being pleased with her decision quickly volunteers to “open” the bag for her. After doing so he took it upon himself to divide the bag. Now, being only in Kindergarten and barely having the adding and subtracting mastered you can only imagine how he made out with the division. While driving and on our way to his favorite place….dance I look back and see a look of horror on Mina’s face. Only after Michael made a convincing declaration of “Mommy, I didn’t take them all” did I understand. Tyler was by then looking into her bag and spotting only “3” fish said very unhappily……..”Mommy, my goldfish”

Me being the math wizard that I am was able to rectify the unbalance and all ended well. I believe this was the only time I remember thinking “man, it’s a dang good thing I was paying attention in 3rd grade math. I shutter to think of what the outcome could have been.