Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Birds and the Bees 101

Question, after question, after question. That's Mina. Wants to know everything, right at the moment it passes through her mind. I never, ever mind answering her and do my very best to do so. However, I must admit it makes my palms sweat at times.

It could be anywhere from, why is the letter S crooked, to how I ever picked the best Daddy, to how something finds it's way out of the ground to grow.

The other evening I thought I would sneak away and take a long, hot shower, shave and just take my time. Near the end, I hear the bathroom door quietly open, then nothing else. I peak out to find Mina perched on the toilet with the lid down and her legs crossed, waiting. (NEVER a moments peace!) I just didn't have the heart to chase her out, there was cleary something on her mind. As I'm getting myself together, its....

Mina: "Mommy, is my body going to be like yours someday?"

Me: (Man, I was hoping it was going to be about the letter S again) "What, you mean like a train wreck?" lol

Mina: "No Mommy, big like you. You know, like on top."

Me: "OK, Mina first, Mommy is NOT big.....but yes, one day you will begin to develop" (she then lefts her jammies and asked me if she was developing yet?) GoodNESS!

Me: Drying my palms.

Mina: "I know when I was a tiny baby I lived in your belly."

Me: "Yes Baby, that's right"

Mina: "And, when I was born, I came out your belly button."

Me: (NOW, drying my forehead) "Yes, well, OK!" (it works for me) I'm SO thankful there hasn't been any inquiry has to HOW she got in there to begin with.

Mina: "When I was a tiny baby, did I like baby food?"

Me: (I see now, I should have chased her OUT!) "Well, when you were first born, Mommy breast fed you"

Mina; "WHAAAAAAT? You mean, I drank from THOSE?" (pointing at me)

Me: "Yes, a Mommy's body makes milk after they have a baby so they can feed them."

Mina: "Oh MAN!!" (laughing uncontrollably)

Me: "What's so funny?" (me giggling now)

Mina: "I can't believe I drank out of them."

Mina: "I'm telling you, a baby is NEVER drinking out of me like that!"

Me: "OK Honey, that's fine!"

Mina leaves the bathroom, still hysterical and I now perch myself of the toilet, exhausted!

As it stands now, Mina will have a baby growing in her belly, it's going to exit from her belly button and when it does, she'll be handing it a sippy cup and it's on it's own!

Ah, the wonder of young minds, WHEW!

"My opinion is that anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard."

- David Allen


Blogger Norman said...


What a cutie patootie!

My son has been pregnant off and on this last year. He became pregnant when I did. However - he luckily de-pregnified at will. He'll stick a doll under his shirt. Then he'll say, "OH! I'm having my baby now!" and whack the baby out from under his shirt. "See? Not so bad!" he says. Sheesh. and to think I did it the hard way...

8:30 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

I just go in and have them open my zipper and the kids are born...simple... Sippy cups? why didn't we think of that sooner - just think how less sore our breasts would have been.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Aisha said...

LOL I was laughing out loud as I read this. How *do* you explain where babies come from to a lil one? *shudder* I remember when I was six I read "Charlie Brown's encyclopedia on the human body" and I found the part on how we are made and it said "The mother gives the egg and the father gives the sperm" so I ran into the living room where my parents were having tea with friends because I just had to know.... "MOM The book says that DAD HAD TO GIVE A SPERM FOR ME TO BE BORN. HOW DOES HE GIVE YOU THAT?" My mom didn't even miss a beat she said "that book is wrong, babies come straight from God" lame cop out!

I was so devestated. I loved my book and it was filled with such vile falsities. I never read it again. LOL..

8:37 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

My two-year-old boy is very jealous of Naiah nursing. Recently when he was sitting on my lap, he turned around and tried to latch on through my shirt. Eesh! The girls just think it's cool and can't wait till they get married and have a baby automatically two seconds later.

10:47 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

P.S. Love the quote! I may just have to use that on some unsuspecting ogler. :)

10:59 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Ok I was laughing at your daughter and now I'm laughing at Norman with her son debabying at will.

Out of your bellybutton. OMG!!!

1:31 AM  
Blogger Meow said...

OMG, I laughed so hard when I read this. Your Mina is certainly a character. Where do they come up with some of these things !!
Thanks for sharing, take care, meow

5:34 AM  
Blogger Gwen said...

Ok...that's just hilarious. Please God...don't let her ask me about ANYTHING!

I would surely screw it up!

5:58 AM  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

Well since you are such the expert now .. can you come over to my house... with mommy 8 months pregnant.. you can imagine what we are going through with the questions!

6:25 AM  
Blogger Renee said...

That breast feeding thing just grosses those kids out, doesn't it? I got all kinds of comments.

7:25 AM  
Blogger truckdriver_sefl said...

LOL!!! I knew there was a reason I lock the door:-}

Tooo funny!!

7:54 AM  
Blogger Lala's world said...

LOL....totally funny....I have had a few of those Q & A times too....make me nervous. I am always afraid I am telling them too much (my hubby thinks I do).

8:48 AM  
Blogger Jen Black said...

I'm having enough problems with trying to explain why the goldfish aren't least she had a blast flushing them down the toilet. I'm not looking forward to body and sex questions.

11:00 AM  
Blogger eatmisery said...

I'm back! See my blog for the picture of my new little girl!

11:30 AM  
Blogger JeepGirl said...

Oh man, I understand your pain.

My 5 year old goes on and on and on. . .

I didn't breast feed, but I did have 4 c-sections so I have that to try explain.

12:17 PM  
Blogger EmmaSometimes said...

the belly button?! I thought a stork brought them, right?

it's good they are satisfied with vague answers. hehe.

1:39 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

I love this story of "the "talk" with your daughter. Its wonderful how young innocent minds work.

Would love to see her face if you showed this to her when she has kids.

Hugs Suz

3:40 PM  
Anonymous NC said...

the birds and the bees and I spy is the BEST yet!!!!

4:33 PM  
Blogger vani said...

oh, you got away easy! my five year old was DRILLING me on this last kid. i was just as sweaty and exhausted after the whole thing was

8:07 PM  
Blogger AL said...

Oh, no! That is so funny :)

Loo experiences quite the opposite and walks around breast feeding her babies. I love little girls and their questions!

8:04 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Website Counter
Website Counter