Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sunday Funnies

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-year old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mommy!

Good luck men!!

15 Comments:

Blogger Colleen said...

That would be so fun to actually watch that! haha

2:11 PM  
Blogger LeighAnn said...

So sounds like a reality TV show!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

so where do we sign our husbands up?

7:22 PM  
Blogger Aisha said...

LOL! Now THAT I would watch :) But i dont know if it would be reality tv as much as it would be fiction or sci fi!

8:59 PM  
Blogger Gwen said...

Fantastic idea!!! Wonder how long Hubby would make it? I'd give him 30 minutes! LOL

6:44 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I know Husband would pass with flying colors at certain things and most certainly fail at others........as far as the test is concerned, I am not sure one Dad could pass! :-)

8:19 PM  
Blogger Lisa M. said...

I loved this.

VERY funny.

12:56 PM  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

I could do that No Problem! ;)

6:26 PM  
Blogger melissa c said...

I found this hilarious and all too acurate. I am going to have my husband read this.

I guess it all comes in a days work. When it is spelled out like this, it sure seems like alot of work!!!

12:02 PM  
Blogger Little Miss said...

Oh my gosh! This could not be more accurate! Is that sad?! I kept waiting for the exaggerated points to be made...but it never happened!

GOOD LUCK MEN! (and to my husband, I now have a printed copy of this GAME posted on the fridge!)

8:50 PM  
Blogger Brony said...

Very cute. I think they actually did a show where dads got graded.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Christie said...

lmao
love it

5:49 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Dude, I would pay to see that! Guys think we have it so easy.

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You poor women just suffer so! Whatever would we men do without you?

8:59 AM  
Anonymous mandi said...

Amen!!! You had me crackin' up!!

3:23 PM  

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